Question : Dear @WifeyUniversity My husband, an otherwise great guy is officially impotent and we have been coexisting in a sexless marriage for far too long. I do not believe in infidelity and we are both completely faithful. I am healthy, ideal weight, attractive and have a ravenous sexual appetite. We have been married 20+ years. I have been patient, gentle, provided resources, prepare healthy meals, try to get him to exercise and scheduled countless physician appointments to help him optimize his penis health and have been a supportive, caring wife but now I’m simply over having to manage another adult to improve his health so that I can also benefit from regular sex. He seems apathetic and unmotivated to fix [our] problem. He’s beginning to get a bit of a beer belly gut, too. Gulp. And he is also losing his hair. What’s next? I don’t want to be trapped in a boring sexless marriage to a apathetic man with a beer belly and erectile dysfunction. Disappointing when people do not fight to beat aging and optimize their health especially their sexual health. In response to not having sex EVER — I, like many women in this unenviable position have become outspoken, extremely direct, aggressive and quite frankly — bitchy. Sexual frustration is a BITCH. Is it too much to ask for some sexual healing and BIG DICK ENERGY in my life? Should I masturbate, start smoking marijuana as a form of escape, have a hot summer affair outside of my marriage, divorce him, cut off the eunuch phallus and hold a funeral for his dead cock or join a convent of celibate nuns? What advice can you offer to help me and other wives like me who are suffering in silence?
@WifeyUniversity Reply : Dear Suffering In Silence Wifey, Thank you for sharing your marital challenge. I commend you on your commitment to fidelity and the care and support you have provided to your husband during his health challenge. Your sexual frustration is valid. Please know that you are certainly not alone. Did you know that impotence and erectile dysfunction are both becoming more and more common and adversely impacting men younger and younger on the regular including men in their 30s – 40s. We hear you and the legions of wives in the same or similar sexless marriage positions megaphone loud and crystal clear. If you have been following our info packed Marital Terrorism : Sexless Marriage Protocol to no avail there is still a glimmer of hope … Please keep in mind that when a man can not sexually satisfy his wife, nor get or maintain an erection he deals with text book performance anxiety and the emotional aftermath including shame, disappointment and even anger. The apathy and lack of motivation is most likely his fear, frustration, burn our, grief, anger —and other unhealthy, maladaptive coping skills in response to the reality of dealing with his limitations as a man and his mortality. If we had a crypto coin for every aging husband who simply can’t get hard and keep up with his ageless wife’s sexual demands we’d be billionaires. You and your husband must learn to accept aging and its adverse impacts as a normal part of the life process. Great time to recall those marital vows… Remember in sickness and health, in orgasms or erectile dysfunction or impotence …. Husbands and wives need to understand that regular, consistent sex is a necessary and major part of the marital obligation. A sexless marriage is in fact a form of egregious marital terrorism and absolutely justifiable grounds for divorce … and its also the main reason couples actually divorce but the reason no one in society ever talks about because it’s embarrassing and terrifying for our men. Imagine if you knew when you married your husband that by age 40 he would be sexually unwell, exhibit erectile dysfunction and impotence — signs of aging, limitations of his humanity and manhood and inevitable mortality… Would you still be willing to marry him? What if you became unwell? How would you want your husband to treat you, remain loyal and committed and caring in spite of your health challenges or aging issues? Too many women are self absorbed and lack insight into the limitations of our men. It’s challenging enough being a man then working to scale the corporate ladder of a demanding and well paid executive career, maintaining a high functioning, beautiful wife and juggling the challenges of family and life in general and then having to work at staying healthy and sexually satisfying your wife for decades. It’s not easy being a man. A gentle reminder that our men are mere mortals with limitations. We want super men and end up with average Joes doing the best they can with the tools and resources that they have. But wait … there are other options besides the big “D” …. If you and your husband still love one another and want to work on your martial challenge and your husband is equally if not more invested and still interested in having sex with you and reversing his erectile dysfunction he needs to step TF up, take the lead to optimize his own health and seek medical attention with a urology specialist. He may also request viagra or cialis after an executive physical confirms his suitability for the medication. Finally (and we’re singing the praises of Shock Wave Therapy as an effective ED treatment) — you can also book an appointment at one of our luxury spas for ultrasonic ED treatment. Yep, blasting his penis with sound waves helps break up plague so that the blood flows and creates stronger, harder and longer erections. A man’s erections and penis health is a barometer for his overall health. Men suffering from ED are the same demographic suffering from heart disease. ED is an early indication of heart disease. The gut or beer belly is also an indication of poor health, perhaps even metabolic diseases such as obesity and diabetes. Then there’s the slowing metabolism and a desperate cry for healthy, organic plant based foods that can a reverse or prevent disease. Use it or lose it. When men do not put their penises to work to achieve rock hard erections and orgasms they are putting their own health at risk. Going without sex is also one of the main causes of stress and emotional disregulation including anger outbursts and mental health symptoms including depression. No wonder he’s morphed into a tangled emotional knot, presents as difficult or uncooperative and is a challenge to deal with. He’s not having regular sex. Repeat that until you fully wrap your brain around exactly what that means. Your husband is unable to have sex because he can not get it up nor keep an erection. Emasculation. Is ED and impotence are the grand larceny of masculinity. And yet its a part of life for many men. Although, we concur that there is far more to life, marriage, men and masculinity than having sex. Don’t forget your husband’s value proposition and all the years he’s sacrificed to make you happy. In our opine, there is no reason to terminate an otherwise healthy, happy marriage simply because your husband is experiencing the adverse effects of aging, heart disease, erectile dysfunction and impotence. However, as pro-marriage as we @WifeyUniversity are, the statistics prove that the majority of long term marriages terminate when the husband experiences erectile dysfunction and irreversible impotence. Wives bail when their sexual needs are not getting met and they feel neglected. These couples just throw in the towel and go their separate ways all the while hiding their sexless marriage shame from the world. Still, we all know the truth underpinning their split. In the aftermath is a shell of a man, albeit emasculated due to ED and impotence, a husband with mixed emotions who still deeply loves his wife but is ashamed, angry, frustrated and frightened about his sexual health, overall health and aging. Many women are leveraging their sexless marriages as a “golden get out of sexless marriage jail free card opportunity” to mergers and acquisitions a sexually competent and well endowed lover to service their needs while maintaining their marriages. These women have a committed husband, sustainable marriage and a lover. Cake+. This explains the so called trends of open marriage or polyandry. The key to a successful polyandry situationship is sourcing quality sexual fulfillment with an elite gentleman of enhanced character that is cognitively flexible enough to want to engage in this non-traditional liaison and basically share you with your husband. You’ll also need a man that you can also have a genuine friendship with to engineer an uncomplicated, healthy love affair. Someone who is as good or greater than your husband. Another option of course is to pleasure yourself or have your husband pleasure you with sex toys such as those from our Wifey’s Sensual collection. Join us for our exclusive Wifey mixers. Chop it up about all your martial challenges and discover a global support network unlike any other. It’s next level network tips, tools, resources, experiences, products and a community of wifeys winning big in the high stakes business of marriage. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s aligned with your values, be transparent, compassionate and caring for your aging and sexually unwell husband. Remember those marital vows, why you started, and stay VIP Club Intimacy for wifey wins.